How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy – 4 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism • ADHD Organized

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If you are anything like me, you find it really difficult to start anything unless you know you can finish it completely and to the best standard – very often resulting in that you don’t start anything at all. Or even worse, once you have started you feel bad about yourself for not being perfect, even though an outsider would see excellent work. So…

How to overcome perfectionism and stop being your own worst enemy?

1 – Break it down and aim for “good enough”

If you find trouble starting, break down the task you are completing. If you are writing an essay, promise yourself you write a chapter at the time. A title and one chapter are better than nothing.

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

The hardest but the most important skill to learn is to aim for “good enough”. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done, but lower your standards little by little and see what happens. Try to do only 90% of the work you would have done normally and see what happens. Did anything serious happen? If not, you can keep lowering your workload to the level that won’t cause you stress but people are still happy with your work.

2 – Create more realistic goals

A good goal is a S.M.A.R.T. Goal – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. A good goal is a goal you have to stretch to and really work on, but which ideally would have at least an 80% success rate. Set short and long term goals – once you have reached them, make them a little more challenging, and so on – this way you’ll find you have made a lot more progress.

Also Read How to Stop Procrastinating as an ADHD Adult - 8 Tips

3 – Decide what you must have and what is just nice to have

As perfectionists, we always try to create a perfect entity, which is not fully ready until every single detail has been polished. This causes stress and anxiety, especially when there are deadlines to meet.

An easy way to resolve this is to make a list of things that are vital and elementary to the task in hand. Next, write down things of smaller details which would be nice to have, but won’t stop the task being completed.

For example, if you are planning to have a weekend in Paris, think about

1 – The must-haves

1 . Book the flights to Paris
2 . Book the accommodation
3 . Book the transport from home to airport, airport to the accommodation, accommodation to airport and airport to home

2 – The nice-to-haves

1 . Search for nice cafes and restaurants
2 . Book tickets to a museum
3 . Make a list of places you want to see

This way you get the task completed and you can decide for yourself whether these nice-to-haves are worth the time and money spent.

4 – Try new things and don’t be afraid to fail

Most perfectionists I know are extremely scared of making mistakes, and if they don’t succeed straight away in a new task (which, by the way, most people don’t) they won’t try again.

Just remember no one is perfect in the beginning. Allow yourself to be a newbie and if you make a mistake, so what? There is a famous quote from Thomas Edison –